80 poems? from the recesses of my mind
the dark corner

today i felt a burning passion in my chest
only you know what puts it there
great forces are at work on our hearts
even so far apart as we are
trying to eliminate the distance, please
help me every way you can
each day i love you more
remember it, sweetest


I need your arms around me
I need to feel your touch
I need your understanding
I need your love so much

Love is our resistance
They'll keep us apart
They wont stop breaking us down
Hold me
Our lips must always be sealed

If we live our life in fear
I'll wait a thousand years
Just to see you smile again
We can't hide the truth inside

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

That's the power of love


                      miss star
                   this is a letter
                 from me to out there
              where you are and i wanted
            you to know that i have devoted
      myself to your radiance. each day i remember
your stunning way and each night i stand amazed as i gaze
      upon your dazzling light shining down, while
            you wink at me from so very far
              away. it is my mission you
                see to get to where you
                 are and spend my life
                   spinning in your

counting on you

My love for you is like a giant mecha robot.
It is powerful, full of mysterious energy, and always exciting.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
Two. I love you two ways.
1) Completely.
2) Forever.

in defiance

physics says that two flames can't heat something beyond their own energy
but our emotion proves that physics is wrong
the fire of our passion burns furiously bright
but our love combined is even more intense

dull shades of gray are transformed into vivid colour
ill sink my teeth into living, to taste every flavour
and i can actually hear the love songs on the radio
life is so beautiful with you, my twin soul

tunnel vision

you dazzled me with your light
you were beautiful and terrifying
and blinded me to everything around me
then you touched me without my permission
it made me furious, the way you invited yourself in
then rendered me so powerless; i couldn't even find myself
and once you had a hold of me, i despaired that you'd never let go
'i don't belong to you!' i raged, and fought to break your icy grip
my heart beats for another woman, you can't have any part of me


your every caress, the soft sound of your breath
the way your lips brush my lips;
and how your tongue dances with mine
this lovers tango in time with our hearts,
so much love made in this embrace without ever making love


venti latte please
where did all my money go
short coffee instead

Electron Kiss

it's been fantastic chemisty since we first collided.
there's no need for negativity, this is elementary
the thought of you puts me into a spin,
and makes me want to jump right out of my shell.
the way you excite me is a spooky kind of motion.
i need to bring you close to me, and form a lasting bond
together i know we can create something noble.
you light up my life, how refreshing!

something in your smile

Your eyes lure me in like tidal pools
You take my breath away
Sense leaves me, with a sense of wondering
Who you are, and what I'd do to be next to you
I can't put my finger on it, but
You turn my heart loose like a force of nature

lounge lizard

watching you, watching me
as you fade into the background of repetition snd complicity
i blink my eyes to make sure that you're still there
you nod your head to assure me that you certainly are
then you turn your back and walk away

Why rhyme when there's no reason?

Eschew, a shoe when you
glance into the garbage and
wonder whether, you should comment on the
weather; I suppose its nice
as long midriffs still
entice. triple take once twice thrice
Dazzled by the sky up on high
won't you clamour for the glamour
while you wish that you could
fly. Don't meddle, you don't
need to test your mettle; test
instead your resolve, will you
absolve or do you have a
mystery to solve?



Full Spectrum

Reconnect; If
Only You Knew How Much Joy
You Deserve.
Gorgeous Mind,
Brilliant Eyes,
Iridescent Soul, and
Voluminous Heart.


Y  Take me away from the usual grind
O  Warm my heart and thrill my mind
U  Make nights and days just melt away
   Sparkle, Shine, Mystify

struck me stupid

who would have guessed?
  something as beautiful
    as you would be a flasher.
  you winked at me with your
 luminous violet eyes, and 
jarred me from my reverie.
 jaw agape; stunned silence
   permeating. i have to 
    admit, you made me
     a little wet while
      i stood watching
       you. i wish there
        was a chance to 
         talk to you but
          you bolted 
           before i

close the deal

don't be nervous; hide your fear
tell the part of what you have to say
which is what they want to hear
it's a shame you have no experience with that
never mind i suppose
technically, you aren't qualified anyway

behold a wonder

what's this; scratch and sniff?
pick at it and wonder if
blackberries will tease your pallette
oh, it's bad blood instead, inside
your mind just like a mallet
gushing outward, Black with rage
as a wild beast loose from its cage
fucker bit me
i think i will withdraw my band


Worlds of responsibility don't make it any easier to say goodbye to the man with a heart the size of the planet.
Daily, you were the exemplar for humilty, kindness, and generosity.
You loved us all, with all you had, and never asked for anything in return.
You'll live forever in our hearts. My friend, my Hero. Bildor.

seeking asylum

i'd be lying if i smiled :)

fetid apathy wills me to rip a hole in reality and tear you through
hateful, wistful, mindful, wantful,
don't hate the glass for being half full; 
deploy, destroy, crush and kill with your will

burning, wasting, killing my time, your time, secluded together on the same line
where did it go? where will we find it?
there's never the time to find the time to find what we need
just have time for want, feel, and greed
will you rebuke or will you heed

handful, childlike, turn the responsibility into...

lost in the deluded cloud of mundane
out and nowhere to go but insane

false impressions guide your actions beyond the simple choices you would make

on the virge of greatness unsure how to step over the edge
smile for a while in denial on the ledge
intake, outtake, crush it inside until you shake
stop your fucking rhyming; there's a flaw within your timing
gross misgivings near thanksgiving
hate, deny, force, imply, railroaded onto the wrong track

where are you at when you're happy everywhere but in your eyes, deepest lies


she's gone on her last voyage
to sail the endless sea
to explore that place that's yet unknown
and see all she can see
but don't be sad; for there's love she left
behind for you and me; her family

the machine

three types of zombies
master, slave, and cocktail girl
to money, hopes, and shattered needs
what went wrong, how did we all end up here, chained to this and that
dont bother to smile like you like it, its ok, we understand

mile high club

spectral arctic wasteland spans into infinity below
rainbow prism smiles back as you try to focus on a detail
surreal' so real stop to feel' can't you see
cotton ocean shore reveals a sea
with a frozen city trapped in time far below

cutthroat candyland

sympathize, supersize
drain me away from myself, each time faster than the last
my drug restrains, chains
steals from the back of the brain,
leaves you where you were
less than yourself, just like everyone else
this flouride strengthens teeth, weakens will
steals your passion, in this fashion, mind and body still
battle for a handhold, to climb up out of this well
it's curious when your personal hell is mediocrity


clarity, alacrity, something potent dwelling in this city
slow like molasses, cover your asses, put a note on your soul for year round passes
infatuate, saturate, instigate, you better acclimate and never start to hate
time to become chaste, post-haste, evolve along with a growing sense of distaste
mistaken words repel, compel, propel, and invite you to dine a feast in hell
it must have been a metaphor, though i don't know what for, sometimes keeping an open mind is more than a chore
still, for a thrill, keep me on speed dial, i'll always be your mental whore


words dance like happenstance
swing your focus round to the other side
blind side, never you mind
tranquility dodges, weaves, mocks, and leaves
something; nothing; everything; one thing
live on like you will, can't quit now you haven't paid the bill
energy found, profound, passion, life and a little bit of strife
don't forget to watch where you're going

a myriad of multicolored teardrops

one lifetime, so much pain
i see your teardrops falling like the rain
somehow not bitter, not hateful
shaped them into something beautiful
like a sculptor of the soul
on all your workings, as a whole

wield your brush and ply your art
each drop is a pigment of its own
blend together, hues of light
form them into something right

my heart's desire: find a way
to be beside you every day
keep you safe from darkest fears
and make sure you cry happy tears

sham glam

buy into it, pay with cash, credit, or your humanity
suppress my mind, buy my soiled soul
be sure you get a bargain
everything half off
clothes, inhibtions, pride

angst, resentment, see it in their eyes
all they want is a piece of the paradise
enough for everyone says the god with the paycheck
dance you filthy monkey
enjoy your time, its all you have

blues song

i smoked too much crack
now i'm flat on my back
girl got me in the sack
but something's wrong...

mamma said to me;
she said son;
she said don't you be stickin your nose in other people's business
but somebody put their business in me
it wasn't a woman
now i'm singin' the somebody elses business blues

this fucking soap opera

You can't believe this trash
it came from some smut peddlers seedy little brain; you say
guess again, my friend
this is my life, and i smile to hide the tears

simply evil brother, hellbent on my life
tainted mother, darkheart penchant for causing strife
family tree like twisted roots, tangled, gnarled, sickly fruits

my way of coping? dream it all away, envision better days
better times are looming near
no time now to stop for tears

ache evolved to something else
hateful sadness manifest; 
you can't wake up from this foul sleep
it swallows you whole, sick and deep

saturday the 14th (i need your help)

My best was always the best before
Now my best doesn't cut it anymore
It used to make you laugh, smile, hope, believe
Now you just can't wait to leave

We had a solid foundation of trust and love
We could both stand on and with no fear of falling
I keep hoping things will be whole again when I wake up tomorrow
Instead of choking down this pain and sorrow

You smooth things over for us in my head and heart, or at least you convince me so
But you don't bother to convince yourself
Then things crumble on your side;
You only slapped a little filler on, and it hasn't even dried yet

I'm stretching myself thin so many different ways
I don't know which way I'll be pointing when I break
I really am doing my best, sad as that seems
Every role I try to complete stretches me further beyond my means

Animosity stings, inferred accusations burn
I need a whole day where I don't feel like you're ready to quit
My fault, your fault, why should it matter
As long as it gets fixed, why should we care
if the blame lies with the former or latter

What can we do to make it better?
No, not better. What can me do to make it great like it was?
I really will do anything to fix our wounded hearts
I need your help to know what do to, though

brilliance, atrophied

sugar sugar
i lose my mind when you're not around
i hate your control over me
when you leave, so does my sage self
no balance remains between genius and instability
you make me crazy

join the frenzy

fornicate everything, haphazardly
obey your masters inside of the TV

trade icons from your wallet
for images of their success, 
clothes, scents, ideology
whatever you want to call it

taught from birth to use everyone else for all they're worth
it's good enough for them, so why not me?

My Time

a neo-skeptical cross between insanity and insolence
lost in the ebb of the greater cyclic flow of the universe
my time changes, a haltless and faultless flip-flop
one second blurs into three more, then suddenly five becomes two
or four disappear altogether, lost in the lapse
wavering relentlessly nowhere between a soft smudge and a fierce fracture
unable to grasp intangible imaginings
my own thoughts evading me like escaped fugitives
scattered like a billion ball bearings on a shag carpet
sometimes i forget to feel and listen to the rhythm of reality
then my time is like a thick syrup, crystallized yet viscous at the same time
i chisel through with the hard steel of my will
unwilling to relax my mind back into the gentle melody of complicity
then i remember to pay attention, and violently find me behind my eyes again
bored beyond measure, against volumes of work, need,
responsibility, and expectation
me, this April fool

the sapling of ruin

flying swift and sleek out of blackest night
gliding on shadowed batwings, feel me alight
i'll perch upon your shoulder, whisper in your ear
i'll mock him as he watches, build upon your fear
it need not be reality
all you need is a seed of me
will you nurture me like i know you can?
or will you destroy me like the weed i am?

good to the last drop

tantalized by your alluring aroma
i tease your body as you tease my senses
kiss you softly, exhalt in your quickened exhalation
lick you gently, feel you melt as you begin to moan
taste you hungrily, the heat of your desire tingling against my lips
suckle needfully, then smile with my eyes as you collapse in ecstasy


I'm told I'm burning vivid in the sky
I feel my warmth, but what am I?

I glimpse others, far away
I'm like those? What's that you say?

So am I just a speck of light?
You mean I blaze intensely bright?

You speak of this brilliance that you see
But can you find a way to show it to Me?

high fidelity

signal weak from left channel
you can hear the bias
connect to different pre-amp
boost output to compensate
something still doesn't feel just right
traceback cables, all looks fine
ah, set dwell to zero
problem solved, continue the music

celestial performance

lurking shadows gone
replaced by luminous souls
eyes wide with innocent awe
watching this, their cosmic dance
they shimmer, sparkle, pirouette
embraced by their soft and caressing light
scars vanish, hope blossoms, dreams ensue, thank you

a death most delicious

where and when did we leave off?
oh yes, at my own death, i scoff
you feed me bits of toes, and deep fried cock
my lifeforce drained, yet still i mock

by will and rage alone i rise
with full black hatred in my eyes
you stand paralyzed with fear
for you thought my end was drawing near

i throw you down with phantom force
and bind you there, without remorse
you scream for mercy, question how
just relax, it's your turn now

as i probe your body with my tongue
you're burned by acrid bile from my lung
i bite through with blackened teeth
such exquisite pain do i bequeath

i break your leg and taste the marrow
impale you with it, like an arrow
thrust it very deep within you
this phallic mass of gore and sinew

all day long and all the night
you'll not die, try though you might
perfect agony, soulless sin
forever, then begin again


You caught my ear with the exploits of your mind,
Took me by the hand and looked deep into my eyes;
Whupped me upside the head, and whispered tenderly,
'Bitch, shut the fuck up!';
Then we kissed, and I knew that you were for real.


jagged pieces
opposing together
fit flush like dust in a hurricane
purpose lost in fragmentation
catch the light
glimpse the reason before it fades


you brandish the most unsophisticated tool
to create something numbingly breathtaking
it inspires my mind blank, with simple awe
forgotten admiration returns; my apologies



tempest inside

rage, sadness, pain, help
i'm burning inside out
i'll shake my head from left to right
and mix it all about

empty words create a void
cracks my world and falls apart
i'll steel myself with apathy
and hide away my damaged heart

bitter man won't leave my mind
and return from where he came
but i'll find a way to drive him off
then love you just the same

sentient nothings

there are thousands of us
all the empty things
once we're in you
you stop feeling because of us
we feed off each other
prosper in your decay
revel in your agony
become stronger as you fail
you can't see us
but you can feel us
we are the downward spiral of lost hope
our will starts to supercede yours
then we invite in our fellows
and feast on your demise


have you ever woken from a dream within a dream
to find yourself burning with desire
then turned to your side;
and find the object of your passion lying beside you
they melt you with a kiss
evaporate you with a caress
coalesce your vapour into ecstasy
then start all over again
are you dreaming?
are you a dream?
sometimes it doesn't matter.

bleed away

too much of me inside myself
unlabeled fire burns nerves, muscles, flesh and thought
blurs me, blurs what i am
in its wake lies a bitter cold blackness
the aftermath of this forest fire of emotion
maybe if i bleed some out
let the overflow trickle away
i'll be left with only me
or just leave me

icy embrace [2]

everywhere else, no peace inside
not from within
it can be borrowed from others
but only for a while
immersed in you
above the sand
next to the wind
bathed in sunlight
it all makes sense right now


lost child
remember me
your tears of despair are not in vain
i feel your sorrow
hear the whisper of my breath
and the beat of my heart
let them quell your fears
i'm never far away


swing me high and swing me low
you've got me on a string you know
please bring me back to your hand soon
and let me teach you how to shoot the moon


small sun
yet greater than all
grows inside
beyond its allowed bounds
then collapses into itself
swallows all light
devours hope
even body fades out of being
leaves nothing but solitary consciousness floating in the blackness of void
beyond numb, there's nothing left to feel


came out of nowhere, caught me unaware
now lingers like a hammer blow to my head
burns like acid in my heart
sadness embraces me like a forlorn lover
the tainted residue clouds my judgement
will, will it away
i will


my name is sorrow
i am the pain inside of you
my name is temperance
i choose the more difficult path
my name is inspiration
with me, you create infinite possibilities
my name is patience
i'll wait forever, for you
my name is fidelity
i'm by your side, always
my name is passion
you create me, inside of myself
my name is solace
in you, i find peace
my name is love
and i am yours

center of my universe

lips are still, but heart is speaking
whispering to me
sharing dreams of forever;
eyes that invite me to lose myself
deep within you, refuge from everything
our souls dance
all this in a glance

ballet of the wind

      a sentient breeze
 perfectly choreographs
one thousand red leaves


liquid fire arcs high on the horizon
brilliant light plays in your cerebrum
thunderous silence, captivating
from the embers grows an eerily perfect tree
wispy branches, infinite leaves
dances in the sky
and dazzles with its complexity


beach stroll
setting sun
pristine weather
watching everyone
perfect people that don't know how to be anything but beautiful
that's all they understand
massmediamarketed clothes, cologne, underpants, and attitudes
feeding off oneanother
this flawlessness is toxic to my heart

icy embrace

deep thought
swallows me like stark perfection
i savor the tingling sensation
and remember
not an echo, for lack of ripples
clear as a mirror
i see it again, again
the razor simplicity consumes me


baby, your box is so fine
i wanna use my fingers to test your bandwidth
but in my mind, you look a bit daemonic
so i think i'll just root you and leave


the smell of you permeates my skin
bitter thoughts, like poison in my mind
drag me down; down into you
like a laser beam, reason slices through the dark cloud of my perception
what was i thinking, and where have i been?
i'm home

corazón pinchado, mente rota

i speak what i mean, time and again
but you take it to heart; wrong
you don't listen to what i say, you only listen to what you hear
"if you were a real man, you wouldn't pass up a good thing when you saw it"
you jeer
even a little boy, like me, knows better than to be bullied into that one
there's more to myself than a bitter man and empty eyes
underneath, someone is sleeping for a while
but you're not interested in waiting to meet him

the purchase

stroke you, lick you, tease you too
there's nothing i won't do for you
a small price to pay for what i gain
it cannot be explained in this refrain

simply put, my bargain buys me these
i get in touch for a while
by cradling you in my arms
and feeding off your smile


tears of ammonia burn my pride
couldn't even tell you why i cried
hellish anguish; foolish ride
something inside
chose no time at all and died

unwelcome bliss

my inhibitions are worn away by your abrasive tenderness
your eyes drill holes through the walls i've constructed
i resent how beautiful you make me feel
you have no power over me
i lie;

your touch makes my mind numb
and sets my body on fire

i beg you to use me
but still you refuse me
fuck you for caring
i think i love you


my friends tell me that you're elite
i'm impressed with your member server
that's the biggest hard drive i've ever seen
wow, you've got a great back orifice
i never knew you were a trojan man

empty morning

don't be patient with me, hate me! validate my worthlessness
   sleep is no escape
      tormented by a fragmented...
         lack of wholeness
            purpose, though so clear, evades


i suck
i almost hurt myself
maybe i'll get it someday


i shove my foot inside your stinking hole
i pull on your tongue, and tie you up
i'm only using you though
i'll cast you aside when i'm through;
my shoe

gas powered inspiration

t h e   r e d   l a w n m o w e r ,
i t   f i l l s   m y   h e a r t   w i t h   t h u n d e r
a n d   t r i m s   m y   t a l l   g r a s s


i inhale; lurid smoke fills my lungs
my mind is filled with a myriad of fanciful sensations

mandibular music

firm, elongated
responds to oral pressure
my harmonica




no words to convey
the depth of my confusion
at least not ones without a bitter tone
no need to explain
the resentment i feel, or
the apathy i've come to accept from her

she looks at me with gimlet eyes
hangs her head, and then she cries
believes that it was fate, not lies
that took from her, her so called prize


Without so much as a touch, and barely a whisper, it spread.

failure (early morning poetry)

i never meant to be the one to let you down
it was supposed to be someone else
and i'd be there to scold them and play righteous
here i am, holding my head in my hands
why did it happen this way?
i feel cold inside, nothing is tender anymore
reeling from the shock of my own self loathing
i hurt
beyond confusion, idle
mind racing? barely moving at all.
pangs flutter in my stomach
hunger for acceptance, a simple need for praise
you'll be something great; is their favorite assurance
as heartfelt and meaningful as income tax 
maybe they do mean well
maybe it's just me
yeah, him in the mirror, he's the one
his eyes are smiling at you
he always did have a thing for bitter irony

the thundercloud chaser - found at long last

he stops for a moment, to catch his breath 
thick air caresses him, like velvet in his lungs 
ringing silence, a hint of a smile, and the chase begins anew 
his quarry beckons him with a glance, causes a seductive murmur 
pursuit ensues, he tastes victory on the very tip of his tongue 
as he quickens his pace, his longings show plain on his cold worn face 
glancing back swiftly, he sees a fading dream on the horizon 
a deep rumbling echoes in the distance. within his mind? he cannot tell 
driven mad by selfish passion, or driven to success by boundless enthusiasm 
to him, does it really matter? he thinks not. the hunt consults with fate 
an outcome will soon be played, that's known by the hunter and his prey 
the weapon strikes, the game is over, after an eternal moment of anticipation 
he is lightly amused, and smiles finally, as he makes his resting place there 
the thundercloud rumbles triumphantly overhead and wonders... 
who was the hunter this day?

mental garbage

mental garbage rotating freely
she loves me
but i don't understand
emotional turmoil, dazed and confused
she turns from me
and i wonder why
physical animosity, nonchalance personified
she questions everything
yet I pursue


The cougar yearns for a soulmatE
Still the gecko searches for answerS
Many afterthoughts have blossomed and fadeD
It's been there all alonG
Stop wondering, and start acceptinG
Believe in the ones you lovE
The most powerful reason isn'T


Blue passion on lips of ice
Silver streaking rays of moonlight
Caress her skin
Silent Beckoning
A seductive murmur from your mind
Tell me what I need you to say
My heart pleads
But my head won't agree

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